This one time a stranger helped me put on my belt.

I had just gone through security in the Portland airport and was struggling a bit to get my belt back on when suddenly I felt a tug. I whipped my head around and a lady sitting on the bench near me had grabbed the end of my belt and tucked it through the next loop for me. I was surprised, but thanked her. She smiled back and then continued to wait for her flying buddy.

I had a choice about how to react in this situation.

I could have been offended. Talk about invading my personal space! She didn’t even ask if I needed help! And did she not think I could handle it? That’s a bit presumptuous. I’ve put my belt on thousands of times all by myself. Just because I have one hand and look to be struggling with a task does NOT mean I need your help! *stomps feet*

Or…

I could recognize her intent and thank her for helping. I could stop assuming that she’s having pity on me because of my hand and understand that she just saw someone who could use a hand (rim shot) and literally reached out to help.

Honestly, the first option never crossed my mind. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized just how hurtful that line of thinking can be. It hurts me because it puts me in a negative frame of mind. It puts me in an angry place. It means I’m focusing on my disability and assuming the worst of others. And it’s not fair to those who are trying to help. If I got the door for someone using crutches and they got mad at me and told me they could do it themselves, that would leave a bad taste in my mouth. Why not assume the best and allow people to help? Lord knows we need more of that in our world today!

And listen, I get it. Accepting help is inherently difficult for most people, physically different or not. We perceive it to be a sign of weakness. Of vulnerability. Especially for those of us with “something to prove” (hint: we DON’T have anything to prove), accepting help can be a real blow to our ego. Honestly, that’s probably a good thing. There’s something to be said for humility and realizing we aren’t an island. I’d much prefer a community of helpers than one filled with people who are afraid to help because they might offend someone.

I worked at a hardware store when I was younger and the owners were constantly asking if they could help me carry things. It always bothered me and I never let them help me. Looking back, I realize they were just trying to help. And believe me, I know there are times when it’s appropriate to have a calm conversation with someone, especially if you have a relationship with them. My default with strangers, though, is to allow them to help.

Some might say I’m just perpetuating the stereotype that people with physical differences need help more than others. I prefer to believe that I’m reinforcing the instinct to do good unto others.

Ultimately, we’re all just trying to do our best, right?

Let’s give those who are willing to help the benefit of the doubt.

I am currently in the midst of leading a 30-day Kickstarter project to fund the publishing of a kids book I’ve written. I’d be honored if you checked out the video and if you like it, pledged and shared the project!

So begins week three of this 30-day Kickstarter adventure!

What have I learned?

First of all, I’ve learned that most people are amazing. The feedback and support I’ve received has been mind-blowing. Message after message from folks who are excited about the book and who are proud to be a part of something so much bigger. My friend Ryan texted me today and said, “The amount of people this book could impact – huge! Some kid. Somewhere. They will hope and carry on.” And that really says it all. I truly believe this book is going to lead to changed lives. High expectation? Yes. Irrational? I don’t think so.

I’ve also learned that I have some incredible friends. Both in real life and online. I’ve had countless conversations with Stacy and Geoff and Meagan and Steven and Wes and Ryan and Kyle and Ben…the list goes on. They’ve given me encouragement and support and perspective. They’ve helped me to become more of who I want to be and less of who I don’t. I’m forever greatful for them and would be lost in this process without them!

MWS knows a thing or two about friends.

I’ve also seen the power of sharing. Nearly 40% of all pledges so far have come from people sharing the project on Facebook. So…keep sharing it on Facebook! lol You never know who will see it and when. Twitter, too! Even more fun, though, is hearing from people who say, “Hey! You don’t know me, but, so-and-so told me about the project and…” Teachers, librarians, occupational therapists, moms and dads…the list goes on. So, please keep sharing the project! And THANK YOU for doing so!

On an even more personal level, I’ve never felt closer to my wife. I’m learning that a project like this can really make or break a marriage and while the sailing hasn’t been completely smooth, the waves have brought us together. We’ve talked and prayed together more in these last two weeks than we have in a long time. And we’re working together like never before. It’s amazing. I could never give her the credit she deserves for putting up with me, but she is far and away the best part of my life and I’m so glad she’s with me on this journey.

So, as we head into the second half of this project, I want to THANK YOU for being involved. Thank you for helping this dream come to life. Thank YOU for changing lives! Mine included. We still have a ways to go, but I’m confident we’ll get there…but, only TOGETHER! Let’s tell the world the truth…

DIFFERENT IS AWESOME!

Last Friday I got my phone out and went to tweet something witty when I saw this:

Say WHAAAAAAAAT??!!

So, of course I immediately went to Twitter.com, just like it told me to, and read everything about the rules to see if I had broken any. I hadn’t. I filled out an “appeal form,” basically saying, “Hi, I have no idea why my account was suspended. Please tell me why and restore it ASAP. Thanks.”

Then I took to Twitter on my other account and started a campaign:

In retrospect, maybe I shouldn’t have accused them of being handists.

And then…I waited.

It was frustrating because I had no idea why it was suspended and, honestly, it was kind of embarrassing. If you clicked on my Twitter handle, this is what you saw:

Yeesh.

It might as well just say, “This person is an evil, horrible person in whom you should have no interest, so WE SUSPENDED HIM.” Mostly, though, it was just the not knowing why. After nearly a week, I finally received an email from Twitter saying:

Oh, cuhl. Thanks.

Just as I suspected, it was a big mistake. An annoying mistake, but at least it was fixed.

And here’s the thing…I didn’t die.

It was annoying and frustrating and I was a little scared at first because there was no communication, but after that…life went on. Without @LivingOneHanded.

We have so much invested in social media these days, and I think that’s great, but we also need to be prepared for if it just went away. I don’t WANT it to, but this experience helped me to see that it’s not the end of the world without it.

In fact, part of me wanted those “following/followers” numbers to stay at zero. A clean slate. Start from scratch.

But, then they were restored and that made me really happy, so…

I’ll keep making the world a better place, one Tweet at a time.

Or something.